Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Can You Fire a Bridesmaid?

It's not a pretty situation. You ask those who you deem closest to you to be in your wedding and all happily accept. But what do you do when one of your gals starts distancing herself, always seems to busy to help, and doesn't make any extra effort to help you. Can you fire a bridesmaid?

Experts would probably say no. But I say what the heck do they know. Consider the situation though, before putting your plan into action. If she's just a truly busy person who can't attend to your every beck and call, but is otherwise a good friend, she deserves to be your bridesmaid. Not everyone has as much free time as you do to contribute to your wedding. If she's an out-of-town bridesmaid, be realistic of your expectations of her. Rely more on your maid-of-honor and Mom to help assemble favors and such.

Now, on the flipside of that... if she starts making crazy excuses, lies about things so she doesn't have to attend something (and you know for absolute certainly she is lying), then it is time to have the talk. Give her a chance to back out of the situation by turning it around her on. Approach her with something like, "You seem really distracted and a little stressed lately, would it be easier if you could just attend the wedding as a guest rather than participate in it? I'd love to have you there standing beside me, but I'll completely understand if it is more than you bargained for." With any luck, she'll be grateful for the excuse to back out and will do so.

The most important thing is that you can end the bridesmaid agreement and still be friends. Be considerate of everyone's feelings and you can't go wrong.

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